XIII Death
Seven of Cups
Page of Wands

Feeling like there are many things today that I will not want to do and when that happens I tend to ignore them and then those things just keep moving onto the next day and tagging along with me everywhere I go like a heavy burden. It robs me of finding joy in the day and of really accomplishing anything of real meaning.

Sometimes I feel like there is something physical between me and these things, keeping me frozen and unable to push through. I wish I knew what that was, so…

Something big is happening. Fundamental transformation and changes. These forces are outside of you and you must let go of the past and everything you knew to be true and important and start this new cycle fresh. Release your preconceived notions and that which wasn’t working for you. Free yourself of your past burdens and embrace all that is new and possible.

Emotional upheaval forces you to discern what is of value and what is not. This is not an easy task and you will want to fight to hold onto it all, like a child clinging to a tattered bear. This time will force you to let go of that which isn’t working to benefit you and will not be necessary in this next phase.

Holding on so tight to the past is only hindering this process. You indulge in allowing your hang ups to get in the way. The only thing getting in your way is you. Time to wake up in the real world and move forward, leaving all that burden behind.

It’s like you are always waiting for the next shoe to drop, for the bad news to come. Your past conditioned you to expect the worst, to always brace for the blow. You expect all situations, no matter how small to drop something unexpected and unwanted on you. You assume others are all liars and wanting to compete with you.

Queen of Pentacles

Just be who you know you are inside. You are strong and loving and practical, strong in your beliefs and live with great integrity. Accept and live into this version of yourself, work hard and the rewards will come naturally.

I pulled one last card as I just didn’t feel I could sit on just that known negative aspect of myself. So I pulled one more with a focus on what do I do about this.

Nothing here surprised me too much. Isn’t it funny how most of the time we know inside what is going on. Sometimes we just need to see or hear it from an external source.

This also seems like an easier said than done situation. OK, just let go of forty years of pent up fear and resentment and unhealthy habits. But, I do the work and today I commit to doing those little things I don’t want to do.

I really am stuck in my old ways. The Universe speaks to you all the time and the messages are usually plentiful and coming from many directions. It is only up to us to listen. Such as my therapist was just telling me that we have done all the deep work and now we are just left with a lifetime of bad habits to break. Oh joy!

What is Standing in the Way?
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