My…Your…Our… Redesigned Life

One man’s victory is another’s loss
Make it a great day #22

When I was 11 months old, I died.  Many who experience near death experiences wake up very sure of why they are here and where there path must lead from this moment.  As a child I remember knowing in my entire being exactly where I supposed to go in this life.  Somewhere along the way I lost that.  That is the unfortunate part of getting that info so young.  Life beats you down, parents tell you not to be silly and you start to forget.  I have had times in my life where things were very clear and very directed.  Whenever I feel like I am being pulled along I always know to follow, it is clear that is the right direction.  Maybe my NDE helps me see those moments more clearly and allows me easier access to my spirit guides.  I have been fostering this relationship on and off my whole life, but it was only a few years ago that I gained the knowledge to help me understand what that was all about and learn to hone it in.

I long for that knowing I had as a child.  I think I have spent the bulk of my life searching for it again.  I am sure it was what has drawn me to the tarot, in which I found a true gift.  I have done something a bit nutty but sometimes you must just put yourself out there, completely vulnerable, to the universe.  I can’t wait to see what comes along as a result.

Five of Swords

Four of Cups

Queen of Wands

While being very focused on the goal of keeping the drama away, you can claim this victory.  But, remember that there is more at play here and other people were hurt in the process.

So the old program has fallen apart.  I think this reading relates to that.  I have been really focused on keeping the drama away and don’t want to bring all those people and all that entails back into my environment.  Things are good and maybe I used a bit of influence to make sure this all went the way I wanted it to.  I do feel for those families and especially the athletes, but we have been through so much this past year and these people are a big part of why it happened.  I have a hard time with people who are willing to manipulate and harm others in order to get what they want and guess what, karma is a bitch.  It definitely came back to bite them in the butt.  Now, I guess this is reminding me not to turn into them in order to keep them away.  I feel confident that I acted with integrity and would do it again, but it is a good reminder to keep an eye on the big picture.


Make it a great day #21

Happy Father’s Day to all those dads out there.  I know I am so thankful and proud of my husband and the amazing father he is to our children.  I didn’t have a great dad so it makes me feel very blessed that my children have such a great one.  It makes all the difference in the world.

XV Devil

Queen of Cups

Nine of swords

The door is open.  You are the only one holding you back.  You can continue to hide and live in fear of failure or you can step out of your cage and move forward.  You are a bundle of emotions all out on the surface and effecting everything you do.  This is effecting the way you speak to yourself and filling your head with negativity continuing the cycle of fear presented in the Devil.

Oh my, well that is no surprise.  I have been an unproductive mess the last few days.  Things were on the upswing, I was feeling mentally and physically better and then I just pull myself back down into my comfortable little safe place of going nowhere.  Sigh.  Keep moving and keep recognizing this pattern and keep starting over.  Tomorrow is a new day.


Make it a great day #20

It’s nice to have my friend back in the fold.  Lovely afternoon.

Feeling just a touch anxious about her progress and workout environment again.  She is fine.  I know that.  Just ingrained to worry I guess.  She tells me I worry more about it than she does.  Just your crazy mom, I say.

Ten of Wands

Knight of Cups

0 Fool

Queen of Wands

Something has run its course and it is time to move on.   Stop carrying the burden and let it go.  There are a lot of emotional matters around you.  Make sure to take control of your own and protect yourself from those that are flooder with their own. You have a new journey to begin and focus on.  It is time to return to the beginning and set forth again.  Look closely for that thing you left idling in the past waiting for the right time.  It is time now to follow your heart and pursue things for yourself.

I know I know.  She is fine and now it is time focus on me.  I am trying, I really am.  The idea of some idea I put aside or career I gave up on as a child keeps coming up for me.  It still feels like there are parts of my past and brain and self that are walled off to protect me.  I guess it is time to work on breaking down those walls.  What I am supposed to be doing is in there somewhere.  It keeps coming back to that.

Make it a great day #19

Good morning so far, feeling good energy and even was motivated enough to keep to my loose routine that I braved the rain.  That is not normal.  Good sign.  Feeling positive and energized for the day.

Page of Cups

Ten of Swords

Page of Swords

Six of Coins

Again with the new relationship right at the top there.  Hmmm.

Emotional matters manifested in the material world.  Be prepared and open to the challenge of learning and discovering your intuitive potential from a new relationship.  This is akin to hitting bottom.  There is nowhere left to go.  You have been blocked up and trapped for long enough and finally have hit a point where you are ready to see the opportunities that lie ahead.  This is just the beginning.  The idea is fresh and unorganized.  You find your mind racing and hopping from one thing to the next.  Focus on challenging yourself intellectually and learning as much as you can about your idea.  This is a time to gather information and flush out ideas.  Give yourself the opportunity to have many ideas and sort through the good and the bad.  When doing all of the creative thinking, focus on how you can contribute to your community and during this time be generous with your time and money.

I definitely see the plethora of ideas and trying to organize and flush those out.  I seem to be in a constant state of this.  I have put a little bit of structure around that while still giving myself the space to think freely about it all.  I will keep that up.  I have agreed to take on a project where I will be contributing my skill set to my community.  I also heard from another charitable organization looking to use my skill set.  So this could provide me with some distraction as I flush out these ideas.  I really hope that my skill set doesn’t end up being where we are headed again though.  I am happy to do these projects for good causes, but I need to be clear with myself that I am not getting sucked back into doing this for a living.  I want to focus on my intuitive abilities and really searching inside myself for how I can contribute to others as well as heal myself and create a balanced and passionate life for myself.  The idea of opening a practice facility has come up for me again in the last couple of days.  I want to keep that as an open possibility for the future.  I am sad though that he seems to be disconnecting from me.  I thought it might be something we did together some day.


Make it a great day #18

I am very curious about this new relationship.  I have been told several times by other intuitives I know that a new relationship will play heavily in my future, but no significant new relationship has come up in a while so I will keep an eye out but I am not holding my breath.  Maybe when the stewing is done.

Or maybe it is the new coaches, although are they really that new any more?  They come into play as a new relationship for her as well whenever I read for her, so maybe.  I am hoping she feels better soon so that she can go back to the fun and cheerful march toward her goals.  Things were going so well.  Bodies and minds are curious things.

Four of Cups

Knight of Cups

VII Chariot

Two of Cups

Wow there they are again.  Lots of cups and the new relationship still playing a prominent roll.  Funny enough, I pulled three cards and then one last one called to me.  The two of cups.

Single minded focus.  The desire to create change in one’s life.  Diving into the deep end of the pool.  Allowing oneself to emotionally commit fully to something.  This leads to a strong and untamed forward momentum.  This energy is not yet harnessed and controlled and can feel a bit overwhelming, but also powerful and freeing.  Ride the wave to a new relationship.

Ok, so interesting.  A little clarity about how and when the new relationship comes into play.  Almost like they were answering my question directly, but always in their cryptic way.  All these reading are pointing to fully committing, taking small actions and creating momentum which in time will lead to the new beginning.  Why is it perpetually off in the distance though.  I’m sure it is me and my really needing to commit and give myself over to the journey and do the daily work to make it happen.  Until I can do that, the timing likely isn’t right anyway.

Make it a great day #17

So, I wish I could say that I turned yesterday into a super productive day filled with adding structure and routine and blazing a trail through the mess that is my life right now, but alas that isn’t what happened.  Mostly I did a lot of much of nothing.  Oh well, today is a new day and I will say that I am feeling motivated today.

Two of Cups

Three of Cups

0 Fool

A new relationship brings cheer and celebration.  A new journey begins

Hmm,  I wonder what that is all about.

Make it a great day #16

So dinner last night completely convinced me I am not a dogooder.  I love him dearly but his blindly idealistic way of approaching things and the way he has to push his agenda to get what he needs is a total turn off to me.  Funny, that was the same thing I was reacting to with her as well.  I don’t want to have to push an agenda as a way of influencing people nor do I like it when that is done to me.  I am definitely an educator not a sales person.  I do want to help people but not in that way. I have no agenda other than to help people see themselves clearly.

I believe that so many of our problems arise from not looking at a situation with an open heart and a critical eye.  That I can help with.  The tarot is an excellent tool for just that and my honesty and yes, sometimes bluntness can be an asset to that end.  I will keep putting myself out there and I trust that they will come.

Note:  In these readings, all things written before the list of cards exposed in the reading were written before I shuffled.

V Faith


Five of Cups

IV Emperor

Wow, lots of major arcana cards.  I will pay extra attention to this message as it obviously holds a lot of weight.

Find your moral center.  Focus on what really matters to you beyond what you can touch and manage.  Connect deeply with your beliefs and use those to frame things going forward. .  It will take some time to become clear.  Just sit in it for a bit and let your subconscious do its work, it will come.  Don’t get frustrated or sad and give up.  It is right there in front of you, you just have to look up and see it.  While you wait, begin by implementing some structure.

I do love scaffolding, a framework to work within will definitely help me along the way and aid in my clarity. I will stay focused on what really matters to me and that I know to be true and  I will continue to work on adding structure and getting organized.  I have been really enjoying these posts.


Make it a great day #15

Had a happy and productive morning.  Housekeeper came today which always makes me happy and new pup behaved while she was there which I was pleasantly surprised about.  I did let the boys kick the crap out of each other this morning so he was very ready for a nap.  I’m sure that helped.  Had lunch with my girl and got some errands done.  Friends coming later for dinner and tutoring.  Good day!

XI Justice

King of Wands

XVI Tower

Wow those are big cards for such a mundane yet positive day.  Hmmm…

It is time to take action.  Use your rational mind and moral center to guide you in making the necessary decisions and changes.   Talking with a convincing and idealistic man leads to a revelation in your thoughts and influences your path.

Sounds like dinner with friends might lead to interesting conversations.  I will look for a tangible action to take today.

Make it a great day #14

Well,  as usual I was over reacting.  Took the next logical step and talked to her about it and she clarified what her coaches had said and all is well.  This last year has made me a bit paranoid and distrustful.  I just want to know that when they look me in the eye and tell me something that I can trust that they mean it and are telling the truth.  This is such a crazy business.

Have been a little up and down the last couple of days.  Would like to work through to the other side so that I can calm my energy a bit.  I think this business with her back has been keeping me worried.  I know it will be fine and she will be back at it very soon.  She just had such great momentum going.  Is there something we need to explore with just as she really gets rolling, minor injuries pop up and throw a wrench in it.  I will have to think on how to help her with clearing that.

Page of Coins

XIV Temperance

One of Cups

Knight of Coins

Do some research and learn about a physical process going on right now.   This will help in the healing process.  It is a combination of passive and active that is necessary.  A new level of potential will become available.  Remember that this is a long game of perseverance, dedication, patience and hard work.

This makes sense with me ruminating about her back.  Her doctor suggested finding some exercises to target specific limitations.  I will look into this today.  Opening things up could really help in certain things she must do.  Also a good reminder that this is a long process, we are years from the end game.  Keep doing the work, one day at a time.  Readings like this help me to see that my thought process is sound and we are heading in the right direction.

Make it a great day #13

Well, I tried to get started on my office yesterday.  I did get my bulletin board built and covered with fabric so that is a step I guess.  It is amazing how much attention two 13 year olds require.  I thought with a friend over she would be distracted and leave me be, but oh no.  Mom never rests.

Feeling a little anxious this morning. Why can things never just be settled and moving forward as planned for her.  There are always obstacles in the way.  I am disappointed as I feel maybe we were fed a load of BS.  Sigh…

Four of Cups


King of Wands

intent focus on the goal, single-minded attention to it.  Don’t forget to appreciate where you are.  If you only dream of what you don’t have you will not put the effort into taking action toward the ultimate dream.  Take the time to calm your mind, think clearly and take the next logical step. You are on the right path.  Trust the king of wands, a dramatic and strong leader.  He is working hard to create his desired reality.

I have always had a strong feeling that I should trust them, that they will take care of her.   New developments make me question what I have been told.  I don’t like doubting what people have looked me in the eye and committed to. Hearing these things makes me really nervous and I can’t help but feel like we keep taking what appears to be the right step only to find out it wasn’t what we thought it would be.   But just because the step didn’t lead where you thought it would doesn’t mean it wasn’t the right place.  My brain is definitely preoccupied with the cup in the sky today.  But good advice to stay calm and trust the process and have faith in her coaches to get her where she is supposed to be going.

We are on the right path, I am sure of it, we just need to stay focused on taking a step each day.   I will spend some time today contemplating what the right next step is.  I always tell her to stay focused on taking a step forward each and every day.  It is uncanny how much I need to take my own advice sometimes.